From Ought to Is
Everything in Life that we really accept, undergoes a change.
Katherine Mansfield
Here’s a test – can you be truly thankful for all that has happened in your life and work experience up till this point, and allow yourself to unswervingly trust in all that is to come? It’s a tough test, being able to be with what is the case, as it requires that we put aside our loyalties and attachments to what we believe is desirable or expected, our oughts. And yet, unless we can find that place within ourselves that can accept all of reality, the ‘is-ness’ of a situation, we will not be able to change it.
Change starts by acknowledging what is, not by striving for what we wish or imagine the situation ought to be.
It’s radical, this shift from ought to is, as our normal response is to want to regret, deny or judge difficult experiences; it is very hard for the ego to answer the question, ‘In some way, how is this difficult experience a helpful teacher?’ Likewise, we are wont to strive and project our needs into future experience, imagining that life should be like that, or that others ought to now behave in that way.